“You will learn a lot from yourself if you stretch in the direction of goodness, of bigness, of kindness, of forgiveness, or emotional bravery. Be a warrior for love."
-Cheryl Strayed
Hi, I'm Tammy, I'm so glad you're here.
I'm many things - an author, writer, eighth generation Californian, a mother, a person on a journey of sobriety - all of which fuel my passion for sharing stories.
Memoir (title tbd)
Release date 2026
I think I was always searching for that feeling of connection and belonging. First, I found it in books. I could escape to another world and feel connected to a family or another place and time. Then I found it in church with the ritual of mass - the music, the candles, the stained glass windows and the feeling of belonging that comes with community participation in prayer and service. Next came love and infatuation, that intoxicating invigoration of being a part of something visceral and exciting. At 15, I found alcohol. And with booze, I could access those delicious feelings whenever I wanted to. Anytime I needed support. Anytime I wanted to feel a part of something bigger. Or feel connected to others, to the world and to my own family. For years, alcohol worked.
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Part memoir, part how-not-to and part self-help, my story of addiction is in many ways a universal one, yet uniquely mine. Since quitting drinking on September 7, 2021, I've been driven to examine the events of my life and get to the bottom of just how an average American girl from a loving family became addicted to alcohol by the time she was fifty.
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What I discovered was that alcohol is an addictive chemical and with all the right conditions, this situation could happen to just about anyone!
A story of hope and healing, my message is intended to free myself and others of the shame and guilt associated with people who have become dependent on alcohol by approaching our stories with compassion and empathy.
Above all, my hope is for readers to see that they are never too old (or too young) to quit drinking and change their lives for the better.
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Historical Fiction
Release date TBD
Tentatively titled The Robles Girls, this novel will tell the ancestral tale of my 4X great grandparents,“Californios” Don Secundino and Doña Maria Robles and their 29 children, born in Alta California after their families arrived from New Spain in the late 1700’s. After discovering a mercury mine and selling a portion to investors, Don and Doña Robles bought a 6,000 acre rancho they named Rancho Santa Rita on land that would one day become the city of Palo Alto, California.
Trained by their father, the six Robles daughters became expert riders before they could sew. Since none of the Robles sons lived to riding age (accidents, dehydration and illness were common causes of childhood death in the 1800's), the girls were an essential work crew, especially during the rodeo, an annual roundup that included branding and slaughtering cattle and preparing the meat, hides and tallow for trade with Yankee ships.
The sisters were responsible for the day to day labor, including caring for their younger siblings, growing, harvesting and preparing the food and wine, making soap and candles, scrubbing and mending clothes and linens, washing dishes, sweeping the grounds and feeding, watering and milking the animals.
Rancho Santa Rita was the only property for miles between San Jose and San Francisco. Don and Doña Robles wouldn’t dream of letting a hungry traveler pass through without a meal, a cup of wine or aguardiente and a rest beneath the shade of their black maple trees.
Although the family was well versed at preparing for the birth of a child each year, the joy of new life was never taken for granted. Only eight of Secundino and Maria’s children would live to adulthood, six daughters and later two sons. Ten babies lived just long enough to be named. Eleven died between the ages of eight days and eight years. The family was engulfed by the sorrow of losing a child 21 times.
Burying their grief became a means of survival.
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A Year In Ink, Volume 18
Annual literary anthology published by San Diego Writers, Ink, 2025
ROCK BOTTOM WAS CALLING MY NAME
After surviving our first Covid Christmas, it dawned on me that I was absolutely exhausted. ALL THE TIME. Every. Single. Day.
Something about my drinking had changed. The buzz I got from a couple glasses of wine was short and the repercussions I felt the next day were so much worse. Every morning, until happy hour rolled around, I was in misery.
(But did I do Dry January? Heck no, that’s for amateurs!)
I wanted to blame my exhaustion on the stress of living with Covid and the changes that it brought to our household. The uncertainty of lockdowns, schools closing and our young adult “kids” moving back home. The bummer of postponing our wedding.
And of course, the actual virus that was lurking, skipping and morphing around the globe. But in my gut I knew there was another reason I felt so terrible.
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As the months of the pandemic dragged on and the news got scarier, wine o’clock at our house started earlier. More Pinot Grigio became my way to numb the stress of living in a world in panic mode and a home now bursting at the seams.
Every one of our six children came home to live with us during the pandemic at one time or another. The two youngest already had their own rooms, but the four oldest had been living on their own for years. There were breakups, roommate changes, leases ending, homes bought and sold. Two of those four brought their dogs.
We don’t have a dog. There’s a very good reason we don’t have a dog.
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WE HAVE RAISED SIX KIDS AND WE ARE TIRED!
Luckily, we loved their sweet and adorable pups, but it took awhile to adjust to all the stuff that went with them. For example: slobbery windows and poo in unexpected places.
Our kitchen was ALWAYS open. Everyone ate at different times and there was a wide range of work, school, sleep and lounging schedules.
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Some cleaned up after themselves better than others. Many mornings I awoke to a sink full of dishes after a late night jacuzzi party and nosh fest—the plates, bowls and wine glasses stacked, Tetris-style in the sink—six inches from the dishwasher.
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Both sets of washing machines and dryers were continually spinning something or at the very least, full of someone’s damp and forgotten load of sports bras, leggings and 37 microscopic thongs.​
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Follow My Sober Lifestyle on Instagram & TikTok
Some of my Favorite Sober Resources
01.
Quit Lit
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ALCOHOL EXPLAINED, William Porter
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ALCOHOL LIED TO ME, Craig Beck
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ALCOHOL IS SHIT, Paul Churchill
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BETWEEN BREATHS, Elizabeth Vargas
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BLACKOUT, Sarah Hepola
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DRINK: THE INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN WOMEN AND ALCOHOL,
Ann Dowsett Johnston -
DRINK? Professor David Nutt
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DRUNK MOM, Jowita Bydlowska
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DRINKING, A LOVE STORY, Caroline Knapp
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DRY, Augusten Burroughs
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GIRL WALKS OUT OF A BAR, Lisa F. Smith
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GLORIOUS ROCK BOTTOM, Bryony Gordon
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GUTS, Kristen Johnston
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HAPPY ACCIDENTS, Jane Lynch
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HIGH ON ARRIVAL, Mackenzie Phillips
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MRS. D IS GOING WITHOUT, Lotta Dann​
02.
More Quit Lit​
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NOTHING GOOD CAN COME FROM THIS, Kristi Coulter
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QUIT LIKE A WOMAN, Holly Whitaker
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SMASHED, Koren Zailckas
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SOBER ON A DRUNK PLANET, Sean Alexander
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STASH: MY LIFE IN HIDING, Laura Cathcart Robbins
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SUNSHINE WARM SOBER, Catherine Gray
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THE LIFE CHANGING MAGIC OF QUITTING ALCOHOL (Coming 2025), Sharon Hartley
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THE SOBER DIARIES, Clare Pooley
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THE UNEXPECTED JOY OF BEING SOBER, Catherine Gray
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THE WINE O’CLOCK MYTH, Lotta Dann
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THIS NAKED MIND, Annie Grace
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THIS SIDE OF ALCOHOL, Peggi Cooney
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UNWASTED, Sacha Z. Scoblic
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WE ARE THE LUCKIEST, Laura McKowen
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YOUR SECOND ACT, Patricia Heaton
03.
Sober Podcasts
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Over the Influence
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Recovery Elevator
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Sober Awkward
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The Naked Mind
04.
Multi-Topic Podcasts
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Behind the Smile
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Heart of the Matter
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Hello Someday
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To 50 and Beyond
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We Can Do Hard Things
05.
Groups & Information​
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SAMHSA Hotline (US): 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Get in Touch with Tammy
Email me with questions, comments, queries about speaking, or just to say hi.
